Fun : Some rules cannot be followed!!!

A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before,
but I don't call anyone by their first name.
It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.
I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "

Fun : Kids too much :)

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee's home
phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:


"ME."

THE MAN WHO WILLED HIMSELF TO DIE!!

There was a man who worked for the railroad. One day as he went into the freezer compartment to do his routine work,
the door accidentally closed and he found himself trapped in the compartment.

He shouted for help but no one heard him since it was past midnight. He tried to break down the door but he could not.
As he lay in the freezer compartment, he began to feel colder, and colder. Then he began to feel weaker, and weaker,
and he wrote on the wall of the compartment, "I am feeling colder, and colder; and I am getting weaker, and weaker.
I am dying, and this may be my last words".

In the morning when the other workers opened up the compartment they found him dead.
The sad twist to the above story is that the freezing apparatus in the compartment had broke down a few days earlier.

The poor worker did not know about the damaged freezing apparatus and in his mind the freezing apparatus was working perfectly.
He felt cold, got weaker and literally willed himself to die.

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES
Our sub-conscious mind can be cheated. The sub-conscious mind can only accept and act on information passed to it by the conscious mind.
It has no capacity to reject or decline any instructions or information passed to it by the conscious mind.
In the case of the poor worker, he consciously thought that he was getting colder, weaker and dying and the sub-conscious mind accepted
the above instructions and affected his physical body. That was how he willed himself to die.

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE
"Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer.
Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of
harmony and proportion is more readily seen."

Fun : small Jokes..

5+5
Son to sardar : Papa, 5+5 kiney honde ae?
Sardar : Ullu de patte, gadhe, idiot, nalayak, besharam, haram khor, tujhe kuch nahi aata.
Jaa andar se calculator lekar AA.


2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760

Sardar proposed a Girl......
Girl said I'm 1yr elder to you...........
Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

Wife: Tum mujhe kitna pyar kerte ho?
Hubby: Shahjahan jitna.
Wife: Mere merne k bad Taj Mahal banaoge?
Hubby: Maine to plot bhi Le liya hai, delay tum ker rahi ho.


Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****)."
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

The Tailor's Needle!!

A tailor was at work. He took a piece of cloth and with a pair of shining, costly, scissors, he cut the cloth into various bits.

Then he put the pair of scissors at his feet. Then he took a small needle and thread and started to sew the bits of cloth,
into a fine shirt. When the spell of sewing was over, he stuck the needle on to his turban.

The tailor's son who was watching it asked him: "Father, the scissors are costly and look so beautiful.
But you throw them down at your feet. This needle is worth almost nothing; you can get a dozen for an anna.
Yet, you place it carefully on your head itself. Is there any reason for this illogical behaviour?"

"Yes, my son. The scissors have their function, no doubt; but they only cut the cloth into bits.
The needle, on the contrary, unites the bits and enhances the value of the cloth.
Therefore, the needle to me is more precious and valuable.
The value of a thing depends on its utility, son, not on its cost-price or appearance."

FUN: Always tell your wife the truth!!!!

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes.

He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine.

At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?"

She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."

"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"